


The Crow's Nest Diner

by roguehearted



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, One Shot, friends who annoy together stay together, quick shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 11:16:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10740603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguehearted/pseuds/roguehearted
Summary: At a pit stop at the Crow's Nest in Old Lestallum Prompto and Noctis decide to give an old jukebox a try.





	The Crow's Nest Diner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [voidxgear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidxgear/gifts).



> This is what happens when I watch John Mulaney specials and then drag one of my best friends into a discussion of who queues the 'What's New Pussycats' and who throws in one 'It's not Unusual' Noct or Prompto? She really should have just sent me to bed. 
> 
> Anyway, the plot so to speak is straight up borrowed from John Mulaney. The back and forth with my friend was too much fun not actually write out plus I needed a cleanser from all the paragraphs of serious stuff I've been putting together lately.

They didn’t have jukeboxes in the city. Not functioning ones anyway. The only one that Prompto had ever seen was in the ice cream parlor on Crescent, and that one was for decoration only. That one sat behind a glass case, and the proprietor would yell if you got too close or smudged the glass with sticky fingers.

Not like this rusted beauty.

It wasn’t as pristine as the one Prompto had seen in Insomnia, but for all its rust and fading colors it actually worked. And it was accessible.

“She’s beautiful.” He breathed pressing one of the buttons to flip the page on the music selection.

Noctis stopped trying to make out the crude scribbling on the Crow’s Nest advertisements tacked up on the wall to turn his attention to his friend. He stood next to him frowning unable to figure out what might have Prompto enamored.

“S’junk.” Noctis snorted trying not to laugh at the dreamy eyed look Prompto was getting over an old jukebox. He dug into his pocket pulling out a handful of loose gil. “Pick a song.” He instructed reaching over and dropping a coin into the machine.

The jukebox lit up waiting for a song input.

Prompto poked his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as if making a selection from a list of twenty or so songs took a massive amount of concentration.

Noctis’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as Prompto selected song D5.

 _What’s New Pussycat_.

“Really?” Noctis asked stifling a laugh. “That’s probably the most obnoxious song I’ve ever…” He trailed off carefully bouncing the remaining coins in his hand. He probably had enough here to buy fifteen more plays. At least.

When he met Prompto’s gaze, he found his friend was wearing the same conspirator grin.

Without a word, Noctis began to slip in more coins while Prompto began giving buttons D and 5 more work than they had ever had.

 

“They’re up to something,” Gladio said as he and Ignis settled into one of the booths after placing their order.

Ignis didn’t bother looking up remaining fixated on preparing his mug of coffee to his liking with the limited supplies at their table. “Come now, I think it’s encouraging that his Highness is taking such an interest in life outside the wal--.” He cut himself off finally noticing the two hunched over snickering in the corner. “Oh bullocks.”

 

Prompto had queued up seven or eight plays for  _What’s New Pussycat_ before Noctis stopped putting in coins. He looked over at him brows furrowed in confusion. Sure, seven or eight plays was annoying, but they could do better. This was the original Crow’s Nest Diner of Old Lestallum.

If anywhere seemed like a go big or go home place the original Crow’s Nest Diner had to be it.

Noctis scanned the song list before sliding in another coin. Gently pushing Prompto’s hand away from the song selection buttons he picked a song of his own.

_It’s not Unusual._

Prompto cocked a curious brow at the selection looking at his friend.

Noctis didn’t meet his gaze instead starting up a whole new queue of several  _What’s New Pussycat_ s. He turned a satisfied smile to Prompto after he finished inserting the remaining coins in his palm.

Prompto gaped back at him impressed. “You are going to be the best King to ever do kingly things ever.” He gasped getting a nudge in the ribs from Noctis.

“Quiet down.” Though it didn’t sound as if Noctis were too distraught about the praise as he slid into one of the chairs at the high counter.

The two placed their own orders adding their purchases to Ignis’s tab. After all, they had blown all their money loading the jukebox with their own special mix. One play of  _It’s Not Unusual_ sandwiched between seven or eight plays of  _What’s New Pussycat_. Like a giant obnoxious Oreo cookie of music.

As the first round of  _What’s New Pussycat_ slid into its second play, both boys were doing well to not give themselves away. Physically anyway. Anyone with a working set of eyes had seen them gleefully poured over the machine. It didn’t take more than a handful of brain cells to know who their current music selection was courtesy of.

“The song is a tad longer than I last remember,” Ignis tilted his head towards the jukebox.

Gladio didn’t respond. The larger man knew full well this was the second, maybe the third play of the song, and he was already sick of it. The future king of Lucis, most wanted man by the Nifelheim Empire, the man he had sworn to protect was actively trying to get him to commit murder in a rundown diner outside of Lestallum.

Astrals he couldn’t believe his sister actually had a crush on this loser.

Gladio proceeded to stab at the peas on his plate burning a hole into the backs of Noctis and Prompto who were doing their best not to turn around and meet his gaze.

Ignis followed his angry gaze as the song started up once more. “Ah, I see. They put it on repeat,” Casually he sipped at his coffee. “Noct couldn’t have been carrying around that much pocket change Gladio. I’m certain it will cease soon.”

From his position at the counter, Noctis turned around meeting Gladio’s eyes and instantly turning around trying to hide a snicker.

“I’m going to kill him.” Gladio threw down his fork.

“It’s hardly a cause for murder, Gladio.” Ignis had long since learned to tune out any obnoxious nuances Noctis had managed to come up with.

“This is the sixth play Ig! Sixth!”

“It’s rather catchy isn’t it?” Ignis didn’t even bother to look up from his brochure for the nearby tourist attractions.

Gladio grit his teeth.

“You are only giving them both the reaction they desire.”

Somehow, Gladio sincerely doubts that those two desired to run alongside the car rather than ride in it. He was just about to pick them both up and put them through the offending jukebox when the most recent play faded out.

What started up in its wasn’t another mind numbing play of  _What’s New Pussycat_ , but Noctis’s careful selection of  _It’s Not Unusual_.

“Thank the Six,” Gladio muttered relaxing back into the booth.  The other patrons of the diner seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

Only Noctis and Prompto appeared to be unmoved and unsurprised by the sudden change in music selection.

The chatter around the diner resumed as it appeared order was restored. No longer fearful of being caught in a continuous hell loop of pussycat lips and pussycat eyes.

The reprieve was short-lived. As the song faded out the air in the diner stilled as the opening melodies of _What’s New Pussycat_  once again bounced off the walls.

Both Prompto and Noctis choked on laughter.

Only Ignis seemed completely unperturbed.

“No! Hell no!” Gladio yelled marching over and grabbing both of the offending DJs by the collars of their shirts. Noctis made a weak attempt to grab on to the counter but was laughing too hard to make a serious attempt at hanging on.

As Gladio forcefully dragged the two out of the diner, the proprietor rushed over to the jukebox and swiftly pulled the plug.

“Kenny and I think Tom Jones could use a rest.” He explained as his baffled customers were all focused on the behemoth of a man dragging two squirming young men through the diner’s front door.

Ignis went to the counter to pay the bill and made a quick motion to have the remaining food boxed up.  Who knew when they’d be allowed to eat at Crow’s Nest again after this display?

Heading out to the car Ignis raised his eyes in surprise. “Prompto is in the back seat now?”

Gladio was sitting in Prompto’s usual spot arms folded tightly against his chest. “I refuse to allow either of them near a radio.”

“I see.” He handed the to go containers to Prompto who immediately began to drum his fingers anxiously against the top of the box.

“I paid for those songs,” Noctis began as the pulled back onto the road being petulant on purpose wondering just how much further he could push Gladio. “It’s pretty unfair of them to just unplug it like that.” The sly smiling playing on his face suggested that he was pleased with the actual outcome.

If Noctis had been sitting behind him, Gladio would have shoved his seat back to let Noctis know just what he thought of his comment.

Five minutes of complete silence passed.

Until Prompto, through no fault of his own, and against his better judgment began to sing a few bars of _What’s New Pussycat_.

Gladio turned around giving him a death glare. “Are you kidding me right now?!”

“What?! I can’t get it out of my head!”

That was the hardest Noctis had laughed all week.

 


End file.
